Rant Time...

I never knew such bossy people existed, but that's just a minor character flaw. What makes me so PISSED is that I'm bottling up my anger inside... unable to yell back. And so the feelings fester...

I initially had the intention of cancelling this rant post 2 sentences into typing it, because I felt that I would be able to handle it. But decided against it because it's not good to my mental health, letting my negative emotions fester like that. Better to get it out of my system. I recall occassions where I bottled things inside because I "thought I could handle it" or "It's not really bothering me". Result was a very unhappy/depressed/angry Basil. So... before things get a chance of getting out of hand this time, I'm taking preventive measures. So out it comes...

why am I pissed about? Because soandso told me in my face to shut up, in a sarcastic and not so direct way.

"excuse me i'm talking to (other person), not you."

I know it sounds small, I find it small too. But at that point in time it felt like a blow, and I had to swallow my pride and just take the blow without giving any form of rebuttal back. It kinda feels like primary school days where your teacher scolds you for talking in her class and interrupting her, but those days are long gone. Being treated in this manner feels degrading and belittling to me.

I remember a similar situation now when I was back in my church choir... I still feel angry thinking about it. It was not at choir practice, but at the dinner table at a coffee shop. This other choir member, a girl around my age, "shushed" me at the dinner table just so that she could speak. She coupled that "shushing" with an irritated and bitchy look. If that girl was in the position of being in charge of the practice and the rest of us were making too much noise, then that "shushing" she gave would have been justified. But this case was totally NOT justified...ARGH... best that it's over and done with.

Back to the present case...it was something similar in terms of treatment and the accompanied irritated/bitchy expression. I didn't like being told to shut up. I admit also because I felt embarassed in front of my other friends.

Now I'll get to why I didn't rebutt the person back...
(a) Because we all had a night of drinking and it could all just be the alcohol talking.
(b) Because I don't want to make a scene.
(c) Because I was aware that I interrupted her talking, so her telling me to shut up was justified...sort of. I agreed with WHY she did it, but not HOW she did it...
(d) Because we all just came back from a party and it would be stupid to cause a scene and destroy everyone's happy feeling.
(e) Because the party that we just came back from was this person's 21st birthday party.
(f) Because it's not the gentlemanly thing to do.

Ah well.... it's probably childish of me to go so ballistic like that over a small matter. Comments anyone?